also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
