Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
someone threw a dead crab at me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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