I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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