i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize