I bet he comes in French.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
