so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
