I love black thongs
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
