Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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