just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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