um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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