im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
