The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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