Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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