Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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