Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
