wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize