Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
