just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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