are you so shy because you have an std?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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