I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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