the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
