That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
