he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
