It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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