Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
