I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
