Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
kristin has been a bad kristin
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
that's an acceptable place to lick
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
