Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
