Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
