His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
