roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
