i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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