That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
