I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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