i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
