I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
