recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
