dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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