Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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