why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
so much tequila, so little girl.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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