Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
