Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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