Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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