Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
whose ass print is on the piano?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
