So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
