somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
