u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
