He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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