You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
