Small penises have feelings too.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
