This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
