If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
