Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
