Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
