I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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