Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
This toilet bowl is my home.
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