We're like a lot better than the average bears
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize